I know you may be thinking "things were easy
after the break up"- that's where you’re wrong. After I decided to let go
things did start to move forward in my life, but on the other hand I was faced
with the emotional battle. Every day the thought came into my mind to leave the
church it wasn't worth going through pain every time I saw him, but I snapped
out of that thought quickly. I couldn't bring myself to be around him because
every time our eyes met the thoughts would hit me, the thought of the first day
we met and how ‘happy’ we were. All kinds of things ran through my mind. I said
to myself "if you’re sure on what you want then you will remain ".
Whilst we were dating I formed a group of friends,
his friends became my friends. These ‘friends’ would advise me in contradiction
to what I was hearing from the pastors and assistants. They told me that me and
him were ‘meant to be’ and I should fight to get back with him. As fragile and
as delicate as I was, my mind would tell me one thing whilst my heart told me
another. After the battle I had I still managed to stand my ground. I was sure
that I would not look back.
I received cold welcomes from these ‘so-called –friends’
these people that were apparently willing to help showed me the cold side of them,
as they brushed me under the carpet and quite frankly didn't want anything to
do with me, the invitations to birthdays and dinners no longer existed as I was
no longer a part of their ‘club’.
It’s funny really, because while their eyes
changed towards me God would help me daily to have good eyes towards them. If
my eyes had turned ‘evil’ because of them ‘brushing me off as if I didn’t exist’,
I would be full of grudges and far from the new person I am today…
So I accepted their cold shoulders. I'm definitely
not super women who has the ability to abolish all kinds of feelings because then
honestly I still had feelings for him. The only reason as to why I was able to
put my feelings aside was only because I was determined to have God in me. There
were times when we would walk past each other staring at the floor just to
avoid eye contact. It was not an easy journey. I consoled many times in the
assistants just when I didn't know where to go from there, each time we spoke
the pain that was planted in my heart was soon uprooted at that moment.
I managed to keep myself busy. I had to start
afresh and make a new circle of friends; it was a tough one because all the
other girls in the church I just didn't get along with, not because they were
bad people but because we didn't have much in common. I took the time to know
each girl and I can say that our friendship has grown till this day we are
still very good friends.
These are friends who are sincere to me, who tell
me the truth to help me at times it hurts but God says….
Proverbs
27: 6 ‘’Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy’’
(New Living Translation)
The journey I had I've learnt quite a few things:
just patiently wait. Maybe your reading this and your thinking to yourself that
"it's hard to leave my boyfriend", the only reason why it's hard is
because you made it that way. I know sometimes you may think that no one
understands you but you will be surprised how many people actually know and how
much help they can offer. Take this opportunity to be renewed.
So here is the answer to the question: WHERE DO
BROKEN HEARTS GO?
The answer is below:
No comments:
Post a Comment