So when secondary school life came, I was bullied
(mainly because of my teeth at that time they were not straight at all) and
plus at this point I didn’t know how to speak out for myself I was so closed.
Until one day the BULLYING stopped -
a girl spoke out for me to shut the bullies - as a result we became friends, in
her I found someone who could be my shield, someone to lean on, like a crutch.
At this point, I started following her lead she always had all the attention,
she was loud, lively unlike me the total opposite – I was more of a ‘tag-along’ than a friend to be honest.
I wanted to be as loud as her but however what I
was unaware of at that time was that she would be a bad influence on me. She would steal from shops, she had a sharp attitude,
out of her mouth would come a flood of swear words and I would just follow
after all I was ‘the tag-along’.
But I
didn’t care much, as she got attention, so did I…it all seemed so perfect. I started to lie as a means to be heard, for
people to pay more attention to me…I mean my life wasn’t that interesting, so
why not create something interesting for people to hear…LIES…
At times I would talk complete rubbish as long as I
was interesting enough to listen to. However pretty soon people stopped
listening again… and started calling me WEIRD
and all sorts of names… I couldn’t hold up the FAKE ME no more, it required
so much work...so much effort
& so many lies. After a while it’s
hard to tell the truth from the lies, I
became the lie itself. I was a human sponge and storing in my heart every
paralysing word that would put me down – after all that’s what I did best , lock
up my heart & take it in, but never knew how to take it out. When I saw
that I finally couldn’t fit in my group of friends anymore I started seeking a
new bunch of friends, I was looking for more crutches to lean on because on my
own I was falling apart….(TO BE
CONTINUED)
This is Desiree Thomas who will share her story in
the hope of helping other girls…
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