It had already been
about 1 month or less (if I’m correct) that I had started attending the church, I was slowly
changing in terms of no longer having the sleepless nights or the suicidal
thoughts. Prior to coming to the church I had battled for about 5 years to get
over an ex-boyfriend, it took this long because I held on to the ‘’hope’’ that
he was the one. There were times when I wanted this person so much even though
deep down I knew he was no good for me, but I kept ‘’wishing’, ‘hoping’,
because for me, he represented my ‘’life-line’’, without him for me there was
no point of living- so out of this idea, came along the thoughts of suicide. I
remember the first challenge of faith I took part in while in the church was regarding
my love-life, because that was what brought me there in the first place. I
didn’t quite understand this challenge, my mind at that time understood it as ‘’God would give you whatever you WISHED
for’’. So my greatest wish at that time was to be with my ex-partner, who
at that time was in Canada, and I was in the UK.
My request was to go
and see him & finally for us to be together (what an illusion I had), funny to say a week after I presented my
challenge to God, I was given a financial condition that allowed me to go to Canada,
that same week I booked my flight & hotel and I informed my ex-partner that
I was on my way to see him. He was excited which in a way for me I translated
it as, he wants us to be together and this encouraged me more to pursue this
‘illusion of mine, also he had informed me that he had broken up with a girl he was 'temporarily dating' prior to me arriving because he wanted us to be together (one of the biggest lies I fell for).
I informed my then
Pastor a day before of my travel plans, I just told him I was going on holiday, he prayed for me, but for some strange
reason I noticed a concerned look on his
face…but I didn’t pay attention to it, all he said was, ‘’Make sure you come back’’ – little
did he know, I was not planning to come back - (to the church that is). Not that anything was wrong with the church…NO NOT AT ALL – For me I got what I had
asked God for, so I thought to myself, why keep coming…
A few days later, I
landed in Canada, with so much excitement, on the plane I was full of
‘’butterflies in my stomach’’, I was going to meet my ‘soul-mate’, after so
long being apart, it ‘’felt’’ so right, yet deep down, I had this sinking
feeling that it wasn’t going to be as I had ‘wished it would be’.
MISTAKE NUMBER 1 – The warning signs that he
wasn’t the one…
He didn’t pick me up
at the airport, he was at a party, even though he knew the day & time I
would land in the country, he didn’t make arrangements to at least welcome me,
I was confused at an airport with hundreds of people around me, that was the
first argument I had with him, after I made so much effort to travel to see
him, he didn’t even make the slightest effort to welcome me. Luckily a taxi
driver came to me and asked ‘’Ma’am do you need a ride to your hotel…’’, reluctantly
I answered, ‘Yes, please…’’
I arrived at my
hotel, it was so unwelcoming unlike the pictures I saw on the internet,
disappointment number 2, but I brushed it off…
MISTAKE NUMBER 2- The warning signs that he wasn’t
the one…
He arrived close to
1am the next day to welcome me; mind you it had been almost 5 hrs since I had landed
in the country, he was drunk, looked messy (he didn’t even make the effort to
look smart just for me), the biggest turn off for me was, he looked fat
(nothing of whom he was when I last saw him)…..TO BE CONTINUED
This is Charlotte
Banda who will be sharing her story with the hope of helping other girls...
