Mirror Mirror On The Wall...''Whose the Fairest of Them All?'' - Desiree Thomas

So when secondary school life came, I was bullied (mainly because of my teeth at that time they were not straight at all) and plus at this point I didn’t know how to speak out for myself I was so closed. Until one day the BULLYING stopped - a girl spoke out for me to shut the bullies - as a result we became friends, in her I found someone who could be my shield, someone to lean on, like a crutch. At this point, I started following her lead she always had all the attention, she was loud, lively unlike me the total opposite – I was more of a  ‘tag-along’ than a friend to be honest.

I wanted to be as loud as her but however what I was unaware of at that time was that she would be a bad influence on me.  She would steal from shops, she had a sharp attitude, out of her mouth would come a flood of swear words and I would just follow after all I was ‘the tag-along’.

 But I didn’t care much, as she got attention, so did I…it all seemed so perfect.  I started to lie as a means to be heard, for people to pay more attention to me…I mean my life wasn’t that interesting, so why not create something interesting for people to hear…LIES…

At times I would talk complete rubbish as long as I was interesting enough to listen to. However pretty soon people stopped listening again… and started calling me WEIRD and all sorts of names… I couldn’t hold up the FAKE ME no more, it required so much work...so much effort & so many lies. After a while it’s hard to tell the truth from the lies, I became the lie itself. I was a human sponge and storing in my heart every paralysing word that would put me down – after all that’s what I did best , lock up my heart & take it in, but never knew how to take it out. When I saw that I finally couldn’t fit in my group of friends anymore I started seeking a new bunch of friends, I was looking for more crutches to lean on because on my own I was falling apart….(TO BE CONTINUED)

 

This is Desiree Thomas who will share her story in the hope of helping other girls…



Where Do Broken Hearts Go?....Keisha Ofili -Final

 

I know you may be thinking "things were easy after the break up"- that's where you’re wrong. After I decided to let go things did start to move forward in my life, but on the other hand I was faced with the emotional battle. Every day the thought came into my mind to leave the church it wasn't worth going through pain every time I saw him, but I snapped out of that thought quickly. I couldn't bring myself to be around him because every time our eyes met the thoughts would hit me, the thought of the first day we met and how ‘happy’ we were. All kinds of things ran through my mind. I said to myself "if you’re sure on what you want then you will remain ".

Whilst we were dating I formed a group of friends, his friends became my friends. These ‘friends’ would advise me in contradiction to what I was hearing from the pastors and assistants. They told me that me and him were ‘meant to be’ and I should fight to get back with him. As fragile and as delicate as I was, my mind would tell me one thing whilst my heart told me another. After the battle I had I still managed to stand my ground. I was sure that I would not look back.

I received cold welcomes from these ‘so-called –friends’ these people that were apparently willing to help showed me the cold side of them, as they brushed me under the carpet and quite frankly didn't want anything to do with me, the invitations to birthdays and dinners no longer existed as I was no longer a part of their ‘club’.

It’s funny really, because while their eyes changed towards me God would help me daily to have good eyes towards them. If my eyes had turned ‘evil’ because of them ‘brushing me off as if I didn’t exist’, I would be full of grudges and far from the new person I am today…

So I accepted their cold shoulders. I'm definitely not super women who has the ability to abolish all kinds of feelings because then honestly I still had feelings for him. The only reason as to why I was able to put my feelings aside was only because I was determined to have God in me. There were times when we would walk past each other staring at the floor just to avoid eye contact. It was not an easy journey. I consoled many times in the assistants just when I didn't know where to go from there, each time we spoke the pain that was planted in my heart was soon uprooted at that moment.

I managed to keep myself busy. I had to start afresh and make a new circle of friends; it was a tough one because all the other girls in the church I just didn't get along with, not because they were bad people but because we didn't have much in common. I took the time to know each girl and I can say that our friendship has grown till this day we are still very good friends.

These are friends who are sincere to me, who tell me the truth to help me at times it hurts but God says….

Proverbs 27: 6 ‘’Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy’’ (New Living Translation)

The journey I had I've learnt quite a few things: just patiently wait. Maybe your reading this and your thinking to yourself that "it's hard to leave my boyfriend", the only reason why it's hard is because you made it that way. I know sometimes you may think that no one understands you but you will be surprised how many people actually know and how much help they can offer. Take this opportunity to be renewed.

So here is the answer to the question: WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO?

The answer is below:

 

 

 

I will not let you go unless you bless me...

Matthew 11:12, ‘’…and from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force’’

Things Fall Apart...Picking Up The Pieces : Keisha Ofili Part 2

A couple of weeks went by and things become tense between us. I became really sick and I didn't know what was wrong. ... As I sat there side by side with him, trembling with fear, thinking of the worst, the nurse came in the room. She had a set of papers in her hand; I thought it was just my prescription - take some tablets and everything would be fine. The nurse finally hit me with the harsh reality…she hit me with something that would scar me for life, a mark that would be a reminder of the careless decision I made. “I’m sorry to say Keisha, but you had a miscarriage" - I didn't know what to do or what to say, I was in shock and fear, completely paralysed by fear.

As we went home we didn't speak one word to each other. Complete silence. As the weeks went by we started to speak but things just wasn't the same between us. Baring in mind whilst all this was happening I was still coming to the church. Yet my conscious was so heavy…

I had many opportunities to speak to the Pastors or the assistants but I kept quiet. Suffering in the awkward silence. I thought that no one needed to know my business. I was soon approached by an Assistant because they noticed something was wrong; I was always down and constantly crying. As I sat down and spoke to her she reassured me that everything would be fine. At this moment I was in a totally shut down. Everywhere I went I thought that everyone was in my business.

Things just became tough. The small hill became a BIG mile stone. Things between me and my boyfriend became distant we hardly spoke. Through this many arguments arose. Days, weeks and months went by as we slowly drifted apart. The signs became obvious as those outside saw that we fought hard to patch up the little that we had. I knew what I had to do, it was time to put this relationship aside and start again…ALONE. I had two minds- to stay in the church or go. I was getting advised by the assistants and pastors and they told me what was necessary and from then I knew what I had to do.

This battle was not easy it went on for a year, whether we should break up so we can both grow or stay stuck in the same miserable situation. After I actually took time to think and analyse I knew what I had to do. It wasn't easy to say "we need to break up" but I plucked up the courage to say it. I knew exactly what I wanted and if I desired for this complete change then I needed to offload all the baggage of the past hurt and the pain I had towards the miscarriage.

I can now say that I'm a happier and a more peaceful person not only because I decided to abandon the old me but because I made a decision to be renewed. All the struggles that I went through allowed me to be stronger today. I have found forgiveness in God, I have found myself…

These are the people God placed in my life that helped me & supported me along the way…(picture below)

 

Patiently Waiting : Keisha Ofili

This is Keisha Ofili this is what she wrote as a way to help other girls:

This is her story as written by her…

PART 1

It all started off on Facebook. One simple add turns into a 3 year relationship. I could consider myself as easy going on Facebook I accepted any old friend request mainly from guys. Early June 2010 a guy added me but there was something different about him something…I wanted to know what it was that drew me closer to him. We spoke until 3:00am in the morning just getting to know each other then things got serious. I gave him my number and then that's when the conversations got deep. We spoke about past relationship, past hurts and also spoke about "our" future.

Couple weeks later we decided to take things to another level. Face to face. That's the first day our eyes met and to be honest with you I had no slight interest in him. I thought he was not my cup of tea. We were total opposites. We then took things to a whole new level. He popped the question “will you go out with me" - filled with all types of emotions I said yes, without thinking.

We had a really love hate relationship were he would do everything to please me and I wouldn't care much about his feelings. Whilst dating I found out that he was a church boy; this intrigued me because I thought "what would a church boy want to do with a girl like me.” He would invite me now and again to events but I just wasn't interested.

After a few months I soon joined the church, I was so amazed at how people were so welcoming, "people actually wanted God in their lives" I thought to myself. On the other hand as I looked at my boyfriend he was totally different. We would both come church and yet the things we did were contradictory to what we were taught in church. We both didn't have a problem with coming church and still living the wrong lifestyle behind closed doors. Things started to become really serious as we dated for a year and a couple of months.

I wanted something from him that I knew he was afraid to ask for. I had a wrong desire to sleep with him whilst we were going to church and listening to the messages that were preached every Wednesday, Friday and Sunday but yet I still had this hidden desire at the back of my mind "I really want to sleep with him"- the feelings that I never had for him were love and care so I figured if we sleep together I would probably like him a little bit more, care for him more…. 

 

After all the pressure we were home alone watching a movie and I told him this is what I wanted. He looked at me as if I was crazy.......... (TO BE CONTINUED)

 

METAMORPHOSIS

When I was in school one of the subjects that would get most of my attention and stirred up a curiosity in me was BIOLOGY.

Up to this day I remember the lesson of MERTAMOPHOSIS (it’s a big word I know)

MERTAMOPHOSIS is defined as:

 1. A transformation

 2. A marked change in appearance, character, condition, or function.

 a complete change of form, structure, or substance, as transformation by magic.

3. any COMPLETE change in appearance, character, circumstances, etc.

 

 Its funny how when you read the definition the biggest word that stands out for me is CHANGE. But the change does not happen by ‘magic’ as is mentioned in the dictionary definition, we who believe in God know that He is the One who can create a HUMAN MERTAMOPHOSIS – the inner transformation, this change no scientist can explain it.

The butterflies true beauty is revealed when it breaks free from its shell, even in that there is a struggle, but if you notice very clearly the butterfly has no help from anyone, its alone fighting to come out, fighting to be changed - it knows if it doesnt break out of that shell it will remain in there, hidden & will never learn to fly... 

The butterfly perseveres to come out of its 'comfort zone', so that it can be all that it is designed to be - which is to FLY not to be hidden in a shell - it doesn’t give up until it comes out. God has designed us to be great but that only happens after our INNER MERTAMOPHOSIS.


I too want to go through this MERTAMOPHOSIS...
 

 Genesis 32: 28 '' And He said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed''

Jacob received his MERTAMOPHOSIS, so can we :-)

  Look at the video below,

Let the Journey Begin...

Hi girls,

I am working on being renewed & changed daily so I can be BEAUTIFUL in theeyes of God,  we are all a work in progress ...it’s not easy, there will be moments when we make mistakes but we change the situation, there will be times when we ''feel'' like giving up, but we DONT GIVE UP.

Philippians 1:6  ...''being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus''

God who started a good work in me, will complete it :-)
Keep in Faith always no matter what battles you may face…

Hebrew 12:2, ‘…looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…’’

Love

Charlotte